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| Hawaii is undoubtedly beautiful, and a favorite destination for many travellers. |
Dates of Travel: Thursday, May 20th, 2021 – Thursday, May 27th, 2021
My cousin recently returned from her honeymoon to Hawaii. When I asked her how it was, she told me that I way undersold it, and that Hawaii is the most beautiful place in the world. That's fair. I know that many people would agree with her point of view, and probably disagree with mine. And my point of view is... well, I don't want to call Hawaii "overrated," because it sure ain't ugly. But, while many are quick to call it "paradise" (or at least, the best vacation destination in the world), I would sooner nominate other places for that distinction. In any case, there's undeniably plenty to like about Hawaii, as I was able to discover for myself when I visited earlier this year.
The Great Debate: Should we finally visit Hawaii?
Before our recent visit, Hawaii's reputation just never really inspired me to go. The reasons are numerous: I don't drink alcohol. I can't swim. I can enjoy an afternoon hanging out at the beach, but no longer, or I'll get bored. I like to go hiking, but Hawaii's trails seemed to trend either extremely dangerous and/or illegal, and in any case there is little wildlife to view. Finally, I tend to favor the sort of variety and atmosphere that is usually innate (or at least near) to cities. There is of course Honolulu, but a city vibe seems to miss the point of what Hawaii is about for its biggest fans. Taken all together, it seemed risky for me to give Hawaii a chance, especially as it is renowned to be a very expensive vacation. Moreover, a visit there entails a 9-hour long flight from Chicago, and a 5-hour time change. At that point, Andy and I have always reasoned that we may as well go visit another country. And so we typically have.
Of course, things were still quite different in early 2021. Since international travel seemed to be mostly "off the table" at that time, Andy and I took another look at a few different domestic travel possibilities. In the end we decided that it was finally time for us to visit Hawaii. We figured that, outside of these extraordinary circumstances, we were unlikely to ever go, so it was best to do it now. Besides, the people who love Hawaii always really seem to love it there; it almost seems spiritually transformative. Thus, I was receptive to being won over.
COVID restrictions and lack of time would make island hopping difficult for us, so we decided to spend our entire week on Oahu. Besides, given my interests, Oahu seemed to check off more boxes than any other island.
Pre-Arrival: COVID Preparations and Going to the airport for the first time in over a year!
In early 2021 the whole "Safe Travels" concept was somewhat novel and daunting. I am sure the details of that process have changed considerably since our visit, so I will stay out of the weeds regarding it (instead, you can find the latest info here); suffice it to say, we each needed to make traveller profiles on the Safe Travels website, locate a place for an approved COVID test, and test negative for COVID 72 hours before our scheduled departure. At that point we would receive a QR code and a wristband to get us smoothly through the airports and on to our vacation. It could be argued that none of the tourism requirements were necessarily “challenging” to fulfill, but it was all still very stressful. It was like being told you could only go to Hawaii if you could successfully toss a ball into the very first of Bozo’s buckets. It’s not the difficulty that’s the point – it’s the stakes. And the pressure!
With our ball firmly in the bucket, we visited O'Hare Airport for the first time since the pandemic began. I think it was about as busy as we'd ever seen it. Regardless, TSA pre-check got us to our gate in about 15 minutes - our usual amount of time. We saw a woman at the gate be turned away for failing to correctly fulfill the COVID travel requirements. It was like watching someone else live out my nightmare. Thankfully, Andy and I were in good shape and made it to Hawaii without incident.
Airport Arrival, Hawaii23 Private Shuttle, and Hotel
Airport Arrival and Hawaii23
Our plane landed at Honolulu Airport (HNL) probably about 30 minutes earlier than scheduled. Thanks to our pre-clearance wristbands Andy and I were able to blaze right by the COVID screening line and reunite with our luggage almost immediately. As it turns out, though, these time savings and more were negated because we still had to wait on our pre-booked shuttle service, Hawaii23. This is a popularly recommended private transportation service for transfers between the airport and Waikiki. Hawaii23 arrived to pick us up a bit later than originally scheduled, and so we waited outside for about an hour in total, which I will say still beats sitting on the plane or standing in line.
Mark was our driver, and I got the feeling he was sort of a one man show running Hawaii23. He was friendly and personable, but also extremely distracted as he operated his business by texting, emailing, and taking calls on his cell phone while driving us to the hotel. This ride only cost us $23 + tip, so it is quite the bargain for private shuttle service to Waikiki.
Traffic to the hotel was not terrible by Chicago standards, but not trivial. Mark explained that there is no school bus service in the Honolulu area, so each day all of the parents must drive to pick up their kids once school lets out, which gums up the streets. He elaborated that some private schools do offer school bus service, but otherwise public education attendees just receive a regular old bus pass (for, as they call it, “The Bus”).
Hotel
We stayed at Vive Hotel Waikiki (2426 Kūhiō Ave., Honolulu, HI 96815) for the fantastic and atypical nightly rate of $115, no resort fees. The hotel's location was just as good as its price, on the Diamond Head end of Waikiki Beach and near the heart of the action.
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| Vive Hotel's breakfast/lounging area. |
Vive Hotel’s lobby was very trendily decorated, awash in leather couches, novelty illuminated signs, colorful planters, board games, books, etc. You know, the usual boutique hotel motif. Andy and I each received a welcome glass of pineapple juice upon check-in, but we had to chug it down quickly in order to avoid our masks being displaced in the lobby for too long.
An amusing sign in the 5x5 ft. elevator advised all passengers to turn and face the walls for “social distancing.”
Our room did not prove to be quite as slick and tidy as the lobby. While the paint seemed newer and the furniture had clean, modern lines, there were enough dings, scuffs, and scratches on the walls, mirrors, floors, and furniture to put me on edge (as much as I travel, I still feel easily grossed out by hotel rooms). Moreover, there was still visible blue painter’s tape outlining the wall just behind our sliding bathroom door. However, in truth there weren’t any genuine issues – mostly just wear and tear – and so I made my peace with the space.
The bathroom had a solid door, which is important to note, since this no longer seems to be a given at hotels. Our room was also equipped was a tiny refrigerator beneath a desk to keep our water bottles nice and cool. Air conditioning was supplied by a window unit, and it was somewhat noisy – a couple of nights during our stay it produced some loud bangs and pops – but otherwise it was usually just a low rumble. Our window view (no balcony) faced inland towards other buildings and mountains, rather than the water.
Our 8-Day Itinerary
Day 1: Waikiki, Banyan Trees, Seals, and Duke's Canoe Club Restaurant
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| A view of Waikiki Beach, with its plentiful statues and banyan trees. |
Since this was our arrival day, Andy and I didn't have rigid plans on our agenda. We mainly just strolled about Waikiki and soaked in the general vibe. I had frequently seen other travellers describe Waikiki as “too busy,” with some preferring to steer clear of it entirely. I tend to like “busy,” I like cities, so I figured that, contrary to these other travellers, I would really like Waikiki. However, I quickly gathered that “busy” was perhaps a gentle euphemism of a sort. Instead of simply calling Waikiki busy, I would instead say that Waikiki does not feel like real life - rather, it is an inorganic tangle of hotels, convenience shops, souvenir stalls, and tourist-trap restaurants. A deliberately engineered corral for tourists. In the same way that Santorini felt to me like a Greek theme park, Waikiki felt to me like a Hawaiian theme park, but perhaps even more egregiously so. (Am I really allowed to admit these sort of taboo thoughts on the internet?) My feelings towards Waikiki did soften a bit over time, but I would still maintain that it is mostly a shopping mall on the beach.
In any case, Andy and I eventually wandered over to a quieter part of town, towards Diamond Head. We had heard that a monk seal birthed a single pup just a few weeks earlier and could be found in this direction. We found mom and pup surprisingly quickly, and were able to view them both from a boardwalk between condos and an apartment complex – right by a restaurant called Michel’s at the Colony Surf.
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| Here they are, in all their glory. |
We and the other gawking onlookers were barricaded safely away, close enough to see the seals in action (or, more typically, resting), but far enough away to give them their space. Andy and I made a few return visits here and usually found a volunteer standing guard in this spot, both to ensure order and to share some marine biology facts with all of us monk seal fans.
I adored the giant banyan trees. Each time we encountered them I took a moment in their company and usually took many photographs as well. In addition to the flora, Andy and I enjoyed the scattering of fauna throughout Waikiki as well: the ever-present ground doves, the plentiful chickens (leftovers from a history of cockfighting), and the small, red-crested birds, which we later learned are called red-crested cardinals/Brazilian cardinals.
Andy and I had a 6:30pm dinner reservation at Duke’s Waikiki Restaurant. It was very good that we had made that reservation, as there seemed to be quite a line. As anyone planning a trip to Oahu then or now knows, all of the restaurants there are operating at a reduced capacity, while at the same time tourist crowds continue to swell, so advance reservations are a must. We were thankfully seated right away, and moreover our seats were fantastic. We were outdoors, with the classic Hawaiian view of a torch-laden beach spanning out before us. The sun was setting, and though it was not visible from Waikiki, it cast an array of peaceful colors across the gently dimming sky. Our waiter, Tevin, was fantastic, sharing with us his keen insight of the menu and equally keen sense of humor.
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| A classic Hawaiian scene at Duke's Waikiki. |
After dinner we did not have any room left for dessert, but we ordered it anyway, and shared Duke's famous Hula Pie. Andy did all of the heavy lifting there. A musical performance began just after 7pm, lending greatly to the already perfectly Hawaiian atmosphere.
Now that we needed to burn off some calories we walked around the large International Market Place (weird how “marketplace” is spelled with two words - I don’t think I’ll be able to write it that way again). We then basked in the glow and melody of numerous street performers before eventually returning to our hotel, where I slept the deep, dreamless sleep of the truly exhausted.
Day 2: Bishop Museum, Rideshares, and Food
Andy and I didn’t have anything too early planned for this day – our first full day in Hawaii. We found some breakfast at Hawaiian Aroma Caffé. You can get there by taking the escalator upstairs at the Beachcomber Waikiki hotel. I got a matcha pancake with a caramel macchiato, while Andy got a salted caramel waffle, side of eggs and bacon, and some orange juice. After all was said and done, I think our bill was like $60+. Madness! We did get to eat outside, poolside. Rain started coming down on us from a clear blue sky. Our awesome waiter offered to move our table beneath the overhang, but we really didn’t mind the rain. When we told him we had plans to visit the Bishop Museum later that day, he clued us into a street art exhibit there that we shouldn’t miss.
After breakfast Andy and I walked back along the beach, saw the magic stones, the Duke statue (BTW, there are lots of statues in Hawaii), some crabs, fish, and a rainbow! It was so great to see a rainbow spanning across the ocean sky on our very first morning. That was the first and last rainbow we saw the entire trip, which I guess is unusual for Hawaii, but we were happy with it.
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| Our official Hawaii rainbow. |
Since it would still be a couple more days before we had our rental car (rentals were scarce and expensive, due to the circumstances), we planned to take an Uber to the Bishop Museum. The Uber ride there cost us nearly $25 + tip. That seemed to be the price for most of the Uber rides we took, so Uber wasn't really very cost effective. We did enjoy getting a new insight about Hawaiian life from each of our Uber drivers, though. You do miss out on that small local connection when travelling by other means.
The historical exhibits at the Bishop Museum were educational, but in my opinion not as elucidating as the tour we later took at Iolani Palace. The street art exhibit was in its own separate building, and very awesome indeed. Pictures do more than words here.
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| I took a bunch of photos, but I figured three was good enough to make my point. |
We tried going to Helena’s Hawaiian Food for lunch. The line there was huge, which was not a surprise, but we didn’t feel much like waiting. Instead, we walked back up the street to Dragon Tea, where it seemed like we could get a quick bite to eat. I got some tasty beef noodles and Andy got dumplings alongside our bubble tea.
After visiting a few more places in the vicinity we tried to get a Lyft to pick us up and bring us back to the hotel. The wait time said 30 minutes. In fact, it never showed up at all. We ultimately booked with Uber, and following another 30 minute wait, our Uber driver eventually arrived, so in the end we at least weren't stranded.
After a break at the hotel we ventured out again. We went to the Barefoot Beach Café for its pleasant setting, live music, and pineapple Dole Whip.
Later on we struck out in search of Duke’s Marketplace. It had moved from its original location ever so slightly and thus we had to wind around a bit to find it. Eventually we came upon the sign informing that we had arrived – “Over 50 vendors,” it bragged. Andy commented that the sign must mean that the vendors are all over 50 years of age, because there were only like four stalls open. I guess this is just another one of those things that was “COVID-closed.”
Andy and I decided to stick close to our hotel for dinner, and this worked out really well for us because we had one of our favorite meals of the trip. Right across the street from our hotel was Maguro Spot, serving up custom poke bowls to the masses. And indeed, the masses were there, lining up in front at almost all hours. By the time we joined the permanent line that is a fixture there, it was nearly an hour away from closing time. We thus suspected that some of the fish might be sold out by the time we got to the counter. As it turned out, the salmon and tuna did sell out before we made it, but our first choices remained available. I got a small, blue marlin poke bowl with brown rice, spicy shoyu sauce, and green onions. Andy is still recovering from a dark past of disliking fish, so he ordered the more conservative shrimp with brown rice, shoyu, and garlic. We ate our poke bowls in Vive Hotel’s lobby seating area, tastefully paired with a can of Maui Brewing Co. Root Beer and Ginger Ale we had picked up earlier from an ABC Store.
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| One of the many ABC Stores you will see everywhere in Waikiki. |
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| Our high-class hotel lobby dining experience. |
Day 3: Diamond Head Hike, KCC Farmer's Market, FRUIT REVIEW, Chinatown, and Iolani Palace
In order to get an early jump on hiking Diamond Head the next morning, some preparations needed to be made. First, I scheduled our early morning Uber ride the evening beforehand, since our recent experience had taught us even Uber rides require advance reservation in the current climate. Second, while visiting the ABC Store the previous day we grabbed some breakfast items to toss into the fridge, so we wouldn’t have to wait for Vive’s complimentary breakfast to begin at 7am.
Our Uber driver, Bryan, picked us up at the scheduled time, just before the crack of dawn. Throughout our drive he shared some interesting factoids with us about the provenance of the stray chickens and the bombing of Pearl Harbor. I believe Bryan was also the first to share this bit of trivia with us: in an effort to control the rat population, Hawaii released a bunch of mongooses. However, rats are mainly nocturnal, and mongooses are diurnal, so when one is clocking out, the other is clocking in, and never do their two paths cross.
Once we made it to the entrance for Diamond Head we had to sit in a queue of cars for about 10 more minutes. It was 5:50am and so the parking lot was not yet open. We were nearly at the spot where Bryan could drop us off and turn around, but still came up a bit short, so we waited. Some other cars were less patient and simply blazed up the opposing lane. Sometimes they had to come back down just as quickly in reverse when opposing traffic approached head on.
Before long Andy and I were able to exit the car, walk through the tunnel, pay the entry fee, and begin our hike. The sun was just rising so the temperature was comfortable, and there was only a bit of drizzle at the start of our hike. There was a good amount of foot traffic on the trail right from the start, and by the time we reached the viewpoint at the summit it was already swarming with a beyond capacity crowd.
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| A calm portion of the Diamond Head hiking trail. |
We did snag a nice photograph or two from the top, but I feel like the most enjoyable part of the hike was actually heading back down. Since you don’t have to mind your step as much, it is easier to enjoy the panoramic view as you descend. Overall, I wouldn’t say this was my favorite hike ever, as the immediate scenery was not so remarkable and there really were no animals of any kind to see (a constant priority for us); that said, there were some interesting geological formations. This hike mainly felt like walking up a ramp (in the form of many switchbacks) for the sake of catching the view at the top.
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| The view of Waikiki from the top. It was a pretty overcast morning, so no glowing sunshine for this photograph. |
Once we were back at the base of the trail the gift shop and drink truck were open. We jumped at the chance to drink a pineapple smoothie straight from a pineapple, and also received a complimentary glass of fresh pineapple juice. Both were delicious!
Eventually Andy and I walked all the way downhill to the KCC Saturday Farmers Market. We had come to Oahu with a prepared list of exotic fruits we wanted to try, and we figured the farmers market would be a good opportunity to gather them. While there, we also got to try some fancy ginger ale and deep fried ube mochi. I would definitely suggest making time for the deep fried ube mochi.
Andy and I were able to pick up a good number of the fruits from our list, which we sampled and appraised over the next few days:
- Apple Banana: Small bananas with somewhat unaPEELing spotted skin. As we started to peel them the skin practically fell away. The fruit inside was ripe, pearly-white, clean, and perfect. Tasted just like a normal banana, but a bit sweeter. These are actually available at home, but I hadn't tried them before.
- Longan: Just like the ones at home. Similar to a lychee with less flesh and more pit.
- Mountain Apple: Small and crunchy. Had the same meek flavor and texture of star fruit.
- Star Apple: To me you could easily substitute this for a persimmon. They taste very similar. I think it would be hard to tell them apart just from the flavor.
- Mangosteen: Ooh boy. We have had mangosteen before and it is a favorite fruit of ours. We only bought two this time because of the cost and how many different fruits we wanted to try. A girl in line in front of us bought over $60 of mangosteen! When we tried to eat our mangosteen with breakfast in the morning, we cut the first one open and it didn’t look right; yellow, and not appealing. We decided to see if the second one was any better, but when we started cutting it open a couple of LIVE ANTS FELL OUT. Disgusting! I hope that girl at the market didn’t go home with $60+ of ant filled fruit!
After revitalizing at the hotel for a bit we took another Uber ride over to Chinatown. Chinatown seemed a bit worn and dingy – almost like a relic from another time in places – but it was also lively, vivid, authentic, and fun. We visited the Shinto shrine, the cultural plaza, an industrial-looking food court, and some souvenir galleries. I loved it.
Our main order of business in the area was lunch at Pig & The Lady. Again, I came prepared with reservations, so we avoided the line. Andy and I each ordered the French Dip Banh Mi – I added noodles to my broth – but we definitely should have split because we could each only finish about half of our plate. This meal was truly excellent, and perhaps one of the best of the trip. We are big fans of Vietnamese food, though.
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| Delicious banh mi sandwich with noodle-filled broth. |
After meandering through Chinatown a bit longer we eventually made it over to Iolani Palace. We had scheduled a 3pm docent-led tour and arrived with about half an hour to spare. After a quick look around the gift shop and the grounds outside (not to mention the impressive banyan tree) we queued up for our tour. Andy’s feet were too large for the disposable blue booties that were provided, so he had to borrow hardier cloth booties from (perhaps) the janitor.
Because our tour group was fully vaccinated, we were permitted to cluster closer to our guide, as opposed to standing on circles spread out across the rooms. The tour was excellent. I felt like I learned more here in situ than I did at the Bishop Museum, in spite of its many informational signs.
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| Iolani Palace. |
Once our tour at the palace was over, we meandered a bit and caught a few of the famous Honolulu sites before finally taking an Uber back to the hotel. All in all, I really liked the vibe in Honolulu. I am not so sure if it would be fun to stay there for days on end as a tourist, but it certainly made for a nice afternoon.
Day 4: Rental Car, Coastal Drive, and Kailua Beach
Sunday was the day we finally picked up our rental car from Thrifty/Hertz (same rental counter). We were lucky enough to get a reasonable rate on a compact sedan by booking through Discount Hawaii Car Rental. In fact, the rental clerk remarked upon our unusually good rate. She asked me where I booked it, because even she as an employee could not get a rate that good and she had a friend coming into town that she needed to refer.
Since they were out of compact cars we were “upgraded” to a Chevy Impala. Not bad, all things considered, but it was a bigger car than Andy wanted to drive around the island. Hey, at least it wasn’t a U-Haul truck (commonly seen throughout the island in light of the rental car shortage)!
Our first stop with the car was back at the hotel to pick up beach towels, a beach mat, and an umbrella. This was to be our requisite “beach day,” and we chose Kailua beach for the honor. We figured we could take a leisurely drive up the coast and make a few stops along the way. China Walls and Spitting Cave were the first of these. The sea and cliffs made for enchanting views all around. We even saw sea turtles floating in the water near Spitting Cave. AND two crazy humans recreationally swimming against the tide of the Spitting Cave!
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| Spitting Cave. |
At this point it was already time for lunch. Google Maps led us to a nearby strip mall with some promising restaurants. I believe it was the Koko Marina Center. Andy picked Zippy’s for lunch. I got the teriyaki beef plate with macaroni salad and rice. Andy got a burger. We had to eat in our car since they weren’t letting patrons dine inside or outside of Zippy’s.
When I pulled out GMaps again to plot our next course I noticed that Leonard’s Malasada Truck had arrived on the scene! It was just on the opposite corner of the strip mall. We immediately walked over and within minutes had a couple of warm malasadas in hand. I got the original while Andy got the custard. We both agreed mine was the best. I described malasadas to the folks at home as sort of like huger, softer loukoumades. I am not sure if that description helps my readers, but if you know, you know.
Andy and I picked up a couple of bubble teas from Teaspresso to wash down our dessert and finally took the car back on the road. We had to skip a large number of stops on our coastal drive because we could see from the road that the parking lots were teeming and it would have been miserable to try and find parking at each site. We had to skip the Hanauma Bay Outlook, Halona Blowhole, Makapu’u Lighthouse Lookout and tide pools, and possibly some others. We made an impromptu stop at (I believe) Wawamulu Beach Park, just because it was less crowded and it gave us a chance to get out and take a look around. We saw crabs and found some dry coral among the black rocks.
After our impromptu stop we carried straight on to Kailua Beach. We got pretty lucky with the parking here, and by now it was quite overcast, so we didn’t need the umbrella. We made use of our beach mat for a while before eventually venturing into the water. I am always cold, so I had to adapt, but once I overcame it wasn’t unpleasant. Andy had never been in the ocean before, so it was somewhat of a momentous occasion for him. After bobbing and floating on the incoming tide for about an hour we finally made use of our hotel-provided towels before heading back.
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| Photography was not practical at Kailua Beach with my camera in the waterproof pouch, so instead here is a photo of a car we saw during our drive up. |
We kept dinner close to home this time and went to the other restaurant across the street, Musubi Café. Their specialty is Hawaii’s legendary spam sushi, a.k.a. spam musubi. I would say that the perpetual line in front of Musubi Café was even longer than the one at Maguro Spot, but after a ~1 hour long wait we were lucky enough to make it inside just 10 minutes before closing. I am told you can skip that giant line if you order online for pickup, but online ordering doesn’t seem to work within an hour of closing time, FYI.
The interior of the notably cramped café was pretty cute; littered with all kinds of spam-themed décor and souvenirs. The counter service was gracious and friendly, lending to an overall positive impression. Each piece of spam musubi is HUMONGOUS. I got two pieces – the teriyaki kind and the bacon avocado variety. Andy got teriyaki, egg/eel, and cheese/bacon/egg. Again, we ate our food in the hotel lobby. In my opinion, I would say that the musubi was “all right,” but not something I’ll be craving.
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| Cling-wrapped musubi. Yum? |
Day 5: Lulumahu Falls, Thai Massage, and Island Vintage Shave Ice
Monday was the day for us to hike to Lulumahu Falls. Manoa Falls and several other popular waterfall hikes were not open, so given the type of hike we were interested in, Lulumahu was our best bet. Andy and I had diligently purchased our $2.50 hiking permit in advance, as is nominally required for this trail. Since you commit to a specific date while purchasing the permit, we were at the mercy of that day’s weather and luckily it agreed with our plans for a hike. We struck out early in order to get a good parking spot in the dirt parking lot near the trailhead, and while we didn’t exactly get a great spot (it was super muddy) it was a spot all the same.
The first natural wonder of the hike appeared before we even left the parking lot. It was a beautiful, iridescent rooster that instantly beguiled Andy. After duly admiring the rooster, we proceeded onward to the trail. Andy was a little bit nervous about this hike at first, but it wound up being great for us; it provided just the right amount of challenge and adventure without truly being dangerous or overwhelming. And between the other hikers and plentiful pink ribbons guiding the way, there was never much sense of being disoriented or lost. Never mind the fact that the right path was generally apparent from being well-trodden.
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| One of the more straightforward parts of the hike. |
The trek to the falls was just as messy, wet, and muddy as I had read. Indeed, the mud was so thick at times that it literally tried to suck the shoes right off our feet. There was the occasional river crossing here and there, but the water was quite shallow and served to rinse off our muddy boots. Our hiking boots and waterproof socks were surely welcome companions throughout this hike.
One of the other things I appreciated about the hike is how the difficulty seemed to gradually ramp up, like in a video game, culminating in the “final boss” just before the falls where you have to climb up a substantially tall wall of rocks. In truth there was enough of an incline to make this easy, but I had expected for there to be a helpful rope based on internet photographs. There was no rope. Also, as quick and easy as it was for me to climb up, I questioned how I would eventually get back down.
While I pondered that, I had the 50 ft. tall Lulumahu Falls to gaze upon. There were a ton of other people – of all ages – sharing this view alongside us. Many of them were wading in the somewhat dubious-looking water beneath the falls. Andy and I instead sat upon a large wet stone and took ample time to fully appreciate our prize. Before too long, though, it was time for us to head back down, and this thankfully didn’t turn out to be much of a problem. The shallower waterfalls to our left provided us with a makeshift stairway to descend. Also, while I may not be able to scale straight up a 5-6 ft. wall with ease, it was trivial enough for me sit on the edge of one and jump down.
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| Our prize. |
As we made our way back we basked in the smug glow of being on the return journey, just like those triumphant hikers who had passed us before. Once out of the muck we changed into our clean socks and shoes, making sure to bag our dirty ones for the sake of the rental car. (If you want to use plastic bags, prepare accordingly, as disposable plastic bags are banned in Hawaii.)
Since Andy and I had gotten such an early start on our day it was still relatively early by the time we made it back to the hotel. After a much-needed shower we went out in search of a big lunch. Ultimately we wound up in line at Paia Fish Market. The line wasn’t egregiously long compared to some others, but still surprisingly long for 2:30pm. Once we had ordered our food we were allowed to stake claim to a table. A waitress brought me a reasonably tasty red snapper and Andy a “calamari & chips.” The calamari was massaged into the shape of a mozzarella stick, with the breading to match, so Andy was in love.
With a couple of hikes under our belt by this point, I thought Monday evening would be a good time to sneak in a couples massage. We booked at the well-reviewed and conveniently-located Aisawan Thai Spa & Massage. I’ll cut to the chase and say we were both BEATEN TO HELL. I have had uncomfortable and even painful massages before, but this takes the cake.
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| The decor was deceptively zen. |
I had asked for the lomi lomi massage, which was supposed to be a “relaxation” massage, like a Swedish massage. Andy asked for something else, but I guess it didn’t matter much since we both essentially received the same beating. It wasn’t just that the pressure of the massage was intense, but the technique itself seemed designed to induce pain. I have since learned that Thai massage is famously painful. I was surprised that none of the reviews I saw mentioned this. I did get the feeling that my masseuse was there to fill in for somebody else, so maybe her old school technique is not typical at this spa. In any case, the massage was definitely more grueling than any of the hikes we did. I was sore and stiff for a week.
Andy and I soothed our pain with some shave ice – the first, and indeed only, of this trip. Naturally, this necessitated waiting in yet another hefty line, this time in front of Island Vintage Shave Ice. I can’t compare it to any other famous Hawaiian shave ice places, but we both liked what we got a lot. I had a “make-your-own” concoction of yuzu and lilikoi/passionfruit, along with fresh mochi and lilikoi popping boba. Andy got their signature Tropical Island, which was a pairing of mango and pineapple syrups. After eating our icy indulgence on a nearby bench we walked around the Royal Hawaiian Center for a bit before finally turning in for the day.
Day 6: North Shore, Toa Luau in Waimea Valley, and Lunar Eclipse
After breakfast we spent just a little bit too much extra time at the hotel before setting off for the North Shore. There were a few items on the proposed agenda for the day, and while we got to do the high priority ones, we didn’t get to do everything. That is probably okay, though, because I’d rather have it be that way than have everything be a drive-by. The first stop we made was at the Dole Plantation. We didn’t have plans for a real visit there, but thought we might poke around the gift shop and get some Dole Whip. The line for the Dole Whip was monstrously long and neither one of us wanted it all that badly. Besides, we had already had it a couple of days earlier in Waikiki. I did want to try to get some fresh coconut water straight from the coconut, but their stand was completely sold out.
The best time to see sea turtles at Laniakea Beach is between 11am-1pm, and since it was about that time we made sure that was our next stop. Andy and I found parking fairly easily on the side of the road opposite the beach, and even got to pet some fairly friendly horses that stood at the fence beside the line of parked cars. After duly indulging the horses with our attention we headed straight for the sandy beach and saw a few turtles almost straight away. I wouldn’t say the beach was littered with them like, say, the way La Jolla beach in California is teeming with sea lions, but we saw a good handful. They mostly seemed to pop up on land quickly to munch on a mossy rock before quickly heading back into the surf.
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| The star attraction of Laniakea Beach. |
We had a luau scheduled that evening with Toa Luau in Waimea Valley. We wanted to arrive early enough to enjoy Waimea Valley’s botanical garden since our luau tickets included admission there, so once we were done in Haleiwa we decided to head straight there. This was a good call since traffic wound up being pretty bad. The big issue is that it is one lane of traffic in each direction along the coast, so you’re just kind of stuck in this slow moving line of cars the whole way.
We made it to Waimea Valley with ample time to stroll to the waterfall. The only hiccup was that we got eaten alive by mosquitos, so before the luau began we stopped back at the car to coat ourselves in bug spray. As an aside, I feel like the botanic gardens could have offered more informational signage. Occasionally there were signs indicating the Latin names of some of the plants, but no other information was provided.
One of the coolest things we saw in the garden – and it was right near the luau stage – was the peacocks. They were quite social, performative, and flamboyant, dancing for us and even flying high into a tree!
Toa Luau wound up being a fantastic and memorable time. I am still not sure if a luau is a “must-do,” but I feel like it was worthwhile for us to have had the experience at least once. To summarize the events: we were greeted with fresh orchid leis and drink tickets upon entry. Cultural demonstrations were performed on the lawn prior to dinner. We got to participate in some of these demonstrations, including weaving a grass crown, cracking and shaving a coconut, etc. The performers also showed us some traditional cooking techniques. We couldn’t partake of the end result, however, since a pit in the ground is apparently not a “USDA-approved kitchen." 😉
Our luau dinner (from the USDA-approved kitchen) consisted of grilled chicken, kalua pork, macaroni salad, lettuce salad, white rice, and a buttered Hawaiian roll. We also got a bit of coconut cake from Ted’s Bakery and sliced fruit for dessert. They plated all of the food and brought it directly to the table (no buffet) and seemed willing to refill whatever you wanted. The staff and performers also made a point to schmooze with the audience in the time between dinner and show. This was a nice touch, and emphasized a warm “family” feeling.
The show began with a bit of ceremony and exposition to connect us with the traditional components involved. Then followed the singing, dancing, and fire wielding you’d expect at a luau. Some of the performers were fairly young members of the family, and altogether the event felt sincere and inviting instead of sterile and overly processed (although obviously it is still a little bit processed for the masses).
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| Toa Luau. |
We departed Toa Luau with a warm glow in our hearts and sand in our heads; it was 8:30pm and thus getting close to our Hawaiian bedtime. Once we made it back to the hotel we did not get to sleep for very long, however. We had set an alarm for 1:00am because a rare lunar eclipse was just about to peak at that heavy-eyed hour. Andy and I woozily threw on some hoodies and shoes before making our way out the door. Once at Waikiki Beach we found ourselves in good company; PLENTY of other people were there to catch the same celestial show. I don’t think I have ever viewed a lunar eclipse alongside so many other sky gazers before, and certainly not on a sandy beach at the threshold of the Pacific Ocean.
Day 7: The Jurassic World Tour and Ziplining at Kualoa Ranch
This would have been a good morning to sleep in, except for the fact we had a relatively early start planned at Kualoa Ranch. First, we attempted to find some breakfast at Island Vintage Coffee, but (a familiar refrain) the line there was crazy. We thus made a hasty retreat to Hawaiian Aroma Café, where at least we knew the line would be more manageable.
Unfortunately for me, my acai bowl went straight to my bladder and I urgently needed a toilet on the way to the ranch... Suffice it to say that Hawaii had closed many of their public restrooms with COVID as the scapegoat, so we had to make a few stops before a McDonald's finally showed me mercy (their restroom was also closed, but they made an exception for me). I am not sure if this is still a problem, but I figured I would share my humiliation in case it could help spare somebody else.
We made it just in time for our Jurassic World tour. Our tour guide was named Andy, so naturally there was an immediate rapport with my husband, Andy. Beyond a name, the two Andys also shared a passion for Jurassic Park, which is how I found myself on this tour. I am a fan of movies enough, and of beautiful vistas especially, so we both had plenty to look forward to on the tour.
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| The intrinsic beauty of Kualoa Valley doesn't require film-making context to be appreciated. |
We visited not only Jurassic Park film sites, but also the filming locations for other movies throughout the valley. At the filming location for Kong: Skull Island, I noticed a mimosa-looking flower growing as a groundcover. Andy (the tour guide, not to be confused with my husband) informed us that this plant was called “shy grass.” He demonstrated the reason for the name by touching the leaves of the plant, which promptly shriveled and closed. He said the leaves will usually re-open in about 15 minutes – long enough for whatever is harassing the plant to move along. We thought this was the coolest thing.
Our day at the ranch was extra long because we had also booked the ziplining tour. Andy (my husband, not to be confused with the tour guide) and I had time enough between the two tours for some lunch at the on-site restaurant, Aunty Pat’s Café. We split a kalua pork sandwich served atop a taro bun. We figured it was a good idea not to overfill our stomachs just before going ziplining.
The ranch offered a few minor attractions to kill some time after lunch. Photographs of celebrities and movies that had filmed at the ranch plastered several walls. There was also a small history museum of sorts; horses; and a petting zoo with goats, pigs, and gregarious tortoises.
Finally, it was time for us to go ziplining. We each signed waivers and weighed in to ensure our harnesses would safely support us. Furthermore, it was important to make sure we weighed enough to not get caught out in the middle of the ziplines without momentum.
We rode out to the ziplining base camp in the same model truck we had used for the Jurassic World Tour. This time, however, Andy and I got front row seats, and that was much better for a smooth ride, a less obstructed view, and clearer photography. Before long we were at the camp and outfitted in our harnesses. Our two ziplining guides introduced themselves and led us to the first course. The overall experience felt sort of like mini golf, with each of us taking turns going down the lines at the various courses, of which there were seven. The excursion description had mentioned hiking and suspension bridges as part of the experience, but these were nominal as the "hikes" were only a little longer than the walk between mini golf courses and the bridges were like 4 feet off the ground.
Each ziplining course was varied enough to keep things interesting, with unique feats recommended for each one. For example, sometimes we were told to let go of the rope, or face backwards, or roll into a ball for more speed. There was one course where we competed to see who could toss two nuts into a bucket set up below the zipline. This variety kept things fresh and fun, and the views were often spectacular in any case. Of course, each ride down the zipline is over in almost an instant. Our guides used a pulley mechanism to “hit the brakes” for us, so at least we didn’t have to worry about that and could just enjoy as much of the ride as possible.
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| Eventually we were done ziplining and it was time to head back to our hotel. The drive back from the ranch was also quite attractive at times. |
We really enjoyed our time at Kualoa Ranch and are glad to have done both activities. That said, this one day alone added a HUGE amount of expense to our bottom line. If you are looking to cut costs, I would say that you could probably find somewhere to zipline outside of Hawaii without quite the hit to the wallet. On the other hand, you probably couldn’t replicate visiting all of those film sites, so if that is important to you, I'd make that the priority.
After a little bit of recovery time spent at the hotel, Andy and I headed to Tommy Bahama for our 7pm dinner reservation. Despite our reservation we still encountered a little bit of a wait time, but it was worth it for the rooftop seating. This offered us a pleasant view of Waikiki at dusk alongside live acoustic guitar. This was to be our last dinner in Hawaii, so the view was especially poignant.
Day 8: Foster Botanical Garden, Ala Moana Center, and Departure
We visited the Duke statue that morning to bestow him with the leis we had received from Toa Luau two nights prior. Our flight home was scheduled to depart at 6:10pm that evening, so we had time enough for a little more sightseeing. First, we had to check out of our hotel, so we packed our bags and asked the desk to hold onto them for us while we were out.
I had read some good breakfast reviews for Yogurstory, so we checked in there via Yelp’s online waitlist. However, the estimated wait time proved to be a gross underestimate, and we probably waited close to an hour after we arrived. We spent that time wandering the area immediately surrounding the restaurant and visited one more Shinto shrine. This was probably one of the more impressive Shinto shrines we saw on the trip – I believe it was Koyasan Shingon Mission Branch Temple.
Eventually we were able to get a table and have some breakfast. Andy and I split red velvet waffles. For drinks, he got a lemonade of some kind and I got a taro latte.
With even more time yet to spare, we visited the Foster Botanical Garden. I would describe this as more like a really nice city park, with a few noteworthy specimens, as opposed to a sprawling botanic garden in the vein of the Chicago Botanic Garden. Anyway, it was not a bad place to while away some time. Afterwards, we had one more dedicated stop to make: to the Ala Moana Center, which is supposedly the world’s largest outdoor shopping mall. Ala Moana is also home to a Foodland, where we wanted to pick up some pineapples for the folks back home.
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| A view of the Ala Moana Center. |
After poking around the shops and getting some ice cream we eventually made it to Foodland. After inspecting the pineapples, we determined that none of them were suitable to bring home. Some pineapples were actively dripping juice and Andy saw a bug come out of one. After our mangosteen trauma, we weren’t going to take the chance, especially not when these were meant to be gifts. We decided we would just pay for the overpriced but USDA-approved pineapples once we were back at the airport.
Finally, we dropped off the rental car and walked back to the hotel. Once there, we grabbed our bags, changed into long pants for the weather back home, and took our Hawaii23 shuttle back to the airport. The airport must have been the only place in Hawaii without a line, so we were able to check our bags in quickly. Alas, everything at the airport was closed, with little exception. Consequently, there were no pineapples to be found. We even inquired with the help desk, in case we were missing something, but they confirmed that all of the pineapple purveyors were COVID-closed. Honolulu Cookies that were shaped like pineapples would have to suffice for the folks back home.
As for a pre-flight meal, there were only four open restaurants that we could find at the airport: California Pizza Kitchen; Chowmein Express; Burger King; and some kind of sit-down bar/grill. There were no chairs or tables anywhere near the three counter restaurants since they were all marked as “For Takeout Only.” Bizarre.
The most pleasant surprise was how open-air the airport was. There was even a beautiful, outdoor garden in a central courtyard, with gazebos, benches, statues, and water features. It was much more pleasant to pass the time sitting there than at the gate.
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| Can you believe this scene is at the airport?? |
Eventually it came time for us to board the plane. I sat in the window seat so I could take in the view as we departed. As the plane began to take off I felt a wave of sadness come over me. Although I hadn't exactly been "won over" by Hawaii during our trip, I was nonetheless overwhelmed by this feeling that I still liked it enough to miss it, if not quite enough to hurry back. That made me feel like, we might never come back. And that was just heart-rending. Andy seemed to read my mind, because, unprompted, he asked me which islands I thought we would visit next time – would we just visit Oahu again, or maybe some others? I told him maybe the Big Island and Maui. I've heard some good things.
Hints, Tips, and Stray Thoughts
Plastic Bags and Recycling
Hawaii has banned single use plastic bags. That is very eco-conscious of them. However, I did find it a bit discouraging how rarely we saw recycling bins for things like cans and bottles, which are still plentiful on the island.
Spike Seasoning
This was served on some toast I had. I was not a fan of this seasoning. It tasted like someone left the cap off the oregano bottle and just dumped the whole thing.
Driving Peculiarities
While driving on the highway we saw a surprising number of people riding in the open flatbed of pickup trucks or similarly dangerous and exposed areas of their vehicles.
Sunscreen
There are some rules regarding the sunscreen that is sold in Hawaii. For the sake of the reefs, oxybenzone and octinoxate are two chemicals (among others) that should be avoided, so please consider this if you are bringing your own sunscreen.
Sunburn
Speaking of sunscreen, this seems like a good opportunity to mention the oft-repeated advice about using sunscreen as much as possible! Even though I do not tend to burn, I always make sure to diligently apply my sunscreen. I reapplied it even more often than usual on this trip, thanks to the dire warnings I saw about being so close to the equator. Even with my natural sunburn resistance, plus copious sunscreen applications, I still wound up with a very, very slight sunburn on my shoulders. It was really an unremarkable sunburn, except for all of the precautions I had taken to avoid it!
Wildlife and Bugs
We noticed shockingly few animals and even bugs on the island. I guess Hawaii really is in the middle of nowhere. Mostly we just saw birds - primarily pigeons, red-crested cardinals, and chickens. Occasionally lizards. There are also wild pigs on the island, which we never encountered, as well as a couple of fabled wallabies, which again, we did not see. Finally, there are the mongooses, but I was never lucky enough to see a live one (only one on the side of the road 😔).
Considering some of the dense conditions we hiked through, we were pleased by the lack of mosquitos. We only had a bad run in with them at Waimea Valley. It's probably still a good idea to be prepared with some bug spray, though.
Cultural Connections
There are some places in the world where it's fairly easy to "live like a local" and connect to the culture, even within the constraints of a vacation. I didn't feel like Hawaii was that way at all. While there are curated cultural experiences on offer, as a tourist, I felt very siloed off from the "real" Hawaii. Perhaps it's an effect of the Waikiki corral working as designed. Of course, maybe it's just the case that Oahu's not so different from home - for instance, we did stop into a Costco at one point, so maybe to some extent that is "living like a local." Finally, I am sure visiting during a pandemic didn't exactly foster easy intimacy.
Closing Thoughts
Hopefully this report has been useful to other prospective travellers. I feel like it's a little different than my usual write-ups - like it's more heavily weighted towards descriptions of transportation, views, and food. However, I guess most people's Hawaii itineraries consist of mainly those things (other than beach time), so maybe what I have here is still helpful?
At the start, I mentioned some concerns/preconceptions I had about travelling to Hawaii. Now that we've been, I would have to say that Hawaii mostly turned out to be what I had expected. Nevertheless, Andy and I still had
a great time. I liked the Lulumahu Falls hike we
did, some of the food we had, the ziplining, the views, the weather,
city life, and especially the friendly people we encountered. I hope we
might get to go again someday – as long as it’s not related to another global pandemic or any other catastrophe.
Finally, I hope my account doesn't come off as too negative (per my cousin's feedback). I certainly don't want to give the impression that we had a bad time. We really liked our trip. However... I still have to maintain that there are other places I enjoy just as much and even more than Hawaii, and often for less money. That said, if you're a US citizen without a passport, and/or if you predominantly love the beach/surfing, and/or if you live in West Coast, USA (making travel to Hawaii easier), I could see why it would rank a bit higher on your personal list. In any case, it doesn't have to be a contest. I am endlessly grateful for the privilege of travelling, whether to Hawaii or any of the other beautiful places on this Earth.
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